The wild and ever-changing nature of emotions and experiences leaves our hearts stretch-marked and strong, worn and willing.
—Brené Brown
Hello, my big-hearted friend,
This morning during my yoga practice, the instructor asked us to stretch toward our toes…
She suggested we reach further to the point of discomfort, not pain…
She coached us to breathe into that feeling…embrace it.
Um…excuse me, but ouch!?!
Beyond the physical sensation of challenging my hamstrings to stretch farther than they had in months, I coaxed my breath to connect with my hamstrings.
Cue the unexpected visitors of Disappointment, Frustration, and Humility.
Without warning, my breath had connected my discomfort to my heart and ultimately to my emotions.
Too woo-woo for you-you?
Let me back up my choo-choo (It’s Christmas and I can’t help but think and write by channeling my inner child…thanks for indulging me.)
As I pressed deeper into my stretch, and breathed deeply into my lungs, I felt…
- Sadness for having not been more consistent in my yoga practice over the last four months (new puppy priorities…shrug).
- Disappointment for having lost some previously hard-earned flexibility.
- Judgmental and embarrassed that I coach others to create habits for longevity and spiritually-rich lives and yet, I had let myself down by not holding to my mantra of “walking the talk.”
Ugh…more discomfort…dare I call it pain?
Then my mind wandered, as it often does during yoga.
I was searching for more…some new connections that I knew I needed to find during this session.
What if we substitute yoga with family gatherings, travel disruptions, or nutritional habits?
So much potential for painful and uncomfortable experiences.
The list of emotional experiences that we ignore, dismiss, or avoid for “short-term peace or comfort” could go on forever.
And yet none of those strategies work in the long-term.
We ALL can name places in our lives where we need to develop a practice of breathing into the discomfort—especially during the holiday season.
This time of year is often painted as a time of joy, connection, and celebration.
But for many of us, it’s also a time when deep emotions surface — sometimes sadness or anger, sometimes overwhelm.
Perhaps you’ve felt the sting of disappointment with a loved one, or the sadness of an unmet expectation during this festive time.
You are not alone.
Instead of trying to push through these emotions or intellectualizing them away,
I invite you to try something different this year: breathe into the discomfort.
Returning to Emotional Simplicity
Our culture often teaches us to analyze our emotions, to label them as “good” or “bad,” or even to bury them under the guise of “staying strong.”
But emotions are not problems to solve; they are experiences to feel.
Unfortunately, we all have emotional blind spots.
It’s easy to get stuck intellectualizing our feelings rather than experiencing them.
This is a defense mechanism to avoid painful feelings.
Think about this…
If a friend says something hurtful, you might say you feel upset or pissed off.
Neither are emotions. The first is an idea, the latter is a metaphor.
So what do we do?
What if you became childlike…at least in your thinking.
Ask yourself, How would a 6-year-old describe what I’m feeling right now?
Return to the basics by identifying and sitting with one of the seven primary emotions: sadness, disgust, anger, fear, bad, surprise, and happiness.
This simple yet profound act can transform the way you relate to your inner world.
Using the Feelings Wheel
If you’re unsure where to start, I highly recommend exploring the Feelings Wheel.
This tool is an excellent resource for identifying and naming emotions…no matter what your age.
Start with one of the core seven emotions and then expand outward into more nuanced feelings.
For example, you might begin with “sadness” and discover layers like “abandoned” or “lonely.”
Or start with “anger” and find shades of “betrayed” or “resentful.”
Naming your emotions gives them space and clarity.
It’s not about fixing them, but about acknowledging their presence and allowing them to move through you.
This process can bring unexpected relief and even insight.
Learning the Language of Emotions
For me, a transformative resource on this journey toward embracing my emotions has been Brené Brown’s book, Atlas of the Heart.
This book not only deepened my understanding of emotions, but also gave me a richer vocabulary to describe my emotional experiences.
Brene’s work is a reminder that finding the right words can be self-care, helping us feel seen and understood—even by ourselves.
If you’re looking for a meaningful gift to nurture your personal growth, consider gifting yourself Atlas of the Heart.
It’s a beautiful companion for anyone seeking to better understand and articulate their emotions.
Sitting with Emotions Opens the Door to Joy
The goal isn’t to stay stuck in sadness or anger, nor is it to “push through” these feelings as quickly as possible.
Instead, it’s about fully experiencing and acknowledging them.
When you give yourself permission to feel what’s real, you create space for other emotions to emerge…
Emotions like surprise and joy, some of the most magical, childlike experiences we can have, especially around the holidays.
Imagine the joy of seeing twinkling lights, hearing the laughter of loved ones, or savoring a favorite holiday treat…
Not as distractions, but as genuine experiences layered into the fullness of being human.
This is the kind of joy that feels grounded, authentic, and whole because it arises from acknowledging all parts of yourself.
A Gift for Your Heart
Whether it’s Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas or the middle of summer…
Give yourself the gift of emotional presence.
Start by sitting with one emotion.
Embrace the simplicity of naming your feelings, breathing into them, and allowing them to flow through you.
Find tools that work for you to fully express the deep and rich feelings of your life.
Yes, ALL emotions are accepted.
You might just find that this practice opens the door to moments of unexpected joy and wonder…
Moments that remind you of the magic beyond any particular holiday season…
Moments colored with the awe and wonder of a deeply felt human experience.
Yoga is great for flexibility, but it can go far beyond the mind-body connection.
Are you up for a new stretch?
A stretch that is transformational to your body, mind, heart, and spirit?
Gift yourself some time today…just 5 minutes with one emotion will start you on an extraordinary journey.
